Try to find a positive male figure portraying intelligence, good taste and grace under pressure in the media today. Think Everybody Love Raymond or According to Jim – for examples of men without couth – men who embody stereotypes. Why do these trigger such an emotional response? Because unfortunately there is an underlying truth to many stereotypes.

I recall many times when a group of my male friends were trying to find the way to a party, holiday celebration or barbeque. I also remember the loud voices, rising frustration and seething anger as we circled the neighborhood for the fifth or sixth time looking for the correct street. We could have remained calm and enjoyed the ride if we would have just pulled over and asked someone how to get there.

What does a man’s stereotypical lack of ability to ask for directions have to do with your destination wedding? Often with wedding attire, we men do not have a clear idea where we are going. With this confusion comes frustration. To get us headed down the right path, Joe Sgro from Lord West, a tuxedo design firm, offered us a set of directions.

What choices for attire are appropriate for your wedding? Pin stripe, chalk stripe, file lapel, notch lapel, stand-up collar, side vents, euro soft ultra wool blend, ribbed satin, etc.

“Formal wear is something that most men are not knowledgeable about. Get familiar with it,” suggests Sgro. Lord West has put together formalwear terminology and tips for the groom on their website, www.tuxedoes.com. After browsing through the site, a groom will have a place to begin.

 “The groom must choose the appropriate attire for the type of wedding,” he says, “A tuxedo for a classic look – or something different for a less formal destination wedding.” Unless you are saying your vows at a formal venue, classic formal ware is not the way to go. Sgro suggests a carefree linen suit from the Horizon Line for the beach, a garden party or a mountaintop ceremony. If you are looking for something trendier, take a look at the more non-traditional Ecko Unlimited Line featuring interesting fabrics and detailing. If you are having a more formal wedding, a look at the Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren lines is obligatory.

After choosing the correct tux or suit, Sgro says select the right accessories – ties, vests, pocket squares, etc. He says colorful accessories are in style, but there is the caveat that accessories coordinate with the bridal party.

Sgro says it is wise to get a formalwear specialist to help you in decision making.  “They do it all the time, and they try their best to do the best for you.” A formalwear specialist will walk you through the steps to achieving the look you want while ensuring that it is appropriate for your destination.

Sgro has a short checklist to go through ensuring expectations of that day are met:

q      Make sure your shoes are polished

q      Wear the correct color socks — they should match your trousers

q      Get a manicure. What brings down the impression of someone faster than dirty fingernails or hands?

q      You will be talking a lot – use breath spray throughout the day

q      Clean your eyeglasses.

q      Groom your hair. Caps are not an option.

When it comes to the attire for your wedding, follow these directions. If you get lost along the way, stop and ask for help so that the journey to your wedding vows will be joyous.