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Thursday, January 17, 2019

5 Easy Ways to Keep the Love Alive!

Words by Jennifer Longmore
Photos courtesy of Jennifer Longmore

5 Ways Happy Couples Make Relationship Work Look Effortless

From annoying pet peeves to anger fueled arguments, anyone who has been in a relationship past the honeymoon phase knows that staying in love takes work. But there’s always that one couple who makes it all look so easy. How do they do it? Don’t be fooled, these happy couples work on their relationships just like the rest of us do – they’ve just figured out which little things make the biggest impact and they do them regularly. Here are the secrets to how these happy couples make relationship work look effortless.

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5 Little Things That Have A BIG Impact On Relationship Success:

1. They Appreciate Each Other At Least Once A Day.
Love and happiness can only grow when each partner feels appreciated. Happy couples make a point of expressing appreciation at least once a day to their partner. It can even be for little things like getting you a cup of coffee, bringing out the garbage or giving the kids a bath.

2.  They Cultivate Friendships Outside Of Their Marriage.
One person cannot fulfill all of our needs and when our partner feels the pressure of having to be all things to us, they begin relating from a place of obligation rather than joy. Becoming enmeshed in just one relationship is unhealthy and can lead to resentment. Besides, when we have interests outside of each other, it can make us more interesting and will lead to more fruitful conversations.

3. They Make An Effort With Their Appearance.
I know this might strike a chord, but if the only time you make an effort with your appearance is to impress strangers at a public event or when going to work, that is your cue to ask "Why am I making an effort for these people, but not my partner?" Happy couples set aside one day a week where they dress like they're going somewhere special with their partner (even if they’re just staying in).

4. They Ask This Question Every Day. "How can I make your day easier today?"
With all of the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to focus on your own to-do list, but picking one small thing to lighten the load for your partner goes a long way. Perhaps it’s running an errand for them, paying a bill, returning a phone call on their behalf or even tabling conversations that can wait for another day when they return home exhausted. 

5. They Schedule Intimacy Into The Calendar.
It's easy to put intimacy aside when your relationship is established, but intimacy is an essential key to happiness in relationships and it needs to be nurtured. Because they know life gets busy, happy couples set aside one night for intimacy into their schedules. It doesn’t have to be sexual; deep conversation, doing something they’ve never done before, going on a walk, back massages and holding hands while watching a movie all count.

This may seem like a lot to take on, so choose an area from above that you know you can begin shifting right now, circle a date on the calendar when you're going to begin and discuss with your partner to make it more fun to do together, but also to prep them for the subtle (positive) shifts that are going to ripple into your evolving happy marriage!

Remember, the grass is greenest where you water it. There will be things in any relationship that will annoy you, but taking care of the important stuff will allow your relationship to flourish. Consider these essential nutrients that keep your grass the greenest in the neighborhood.

Jennifer Longmore is a Relationship Counselor & Life Coach, B.A.S.W., M.Ed., Founder of Soul Journeys, a coaching company that helps people love successfully, overcome conflict and ultimately, rediscover their life’s purpose. She has conducted over 30,000 ‘Soul Purpose Sessions,’ including ones with Fortune 500 executives at Microsoft, Amazon and Disney and with professional athletes from the Chicago Bulls & the L.A. Lakers.

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